Is it Really Humility?

Most of us have bit of a problem with the word “humility.” We have ideas about humility that are distorted, lack precision, ones that we have misconceptions and uncertainties about, or maybe we just don’t even like the word, period. I remember from childhood someone in my life that frequently referred to people as humble. “She’s so humble,” or “He’s so humble,” the person would say of the one spoken of.

I really had a problem with this because I knew the person doing the talking well enough to know that they were mischievous, manipulative, controlling….and I never was comfortable with their motives. The person referring to the “humble” seemed to be one who took advantage of those that were being admired and I thought the talker was referring to people they could “get over” on. I just knew there was something wrong with this picture, even when I knew there was something right about humility. Remember now…I was just little boy.

Some see humility as unconditional, unquestionable compliance with whatever is asked or expected of them. It’s as though the person doesn’t have a voice or feelings about what is expected and they are merely nice little robots that function and perform precisely. Even when the so called “humble” one gives of themselves, too often their mistakes are pointed out more vividly than their efforts, spirits and motives being right and very “moving” to the point that others are helped. Perfectionists like the humble because they like to provoke false guilt and shame so they get what they want, regardless of how they treat the “humble” since the provoker has to be right and not fall off their power ladder. What would people think of them then? True humility doesn’t have to be unwise nor does one have to a victim.

Being humble isn’t being a doormat for people to get away with murder by “using” you. We all know about users and givers. I’m 54 years old and have seen a lot of both across the world. Being humble doesn’t mean we “hang our head lower” than the next man as though we’re helpless, poor, can’t speak for ourselves or that we are powerless. The power authorities and abusers of this world would like you to be a wimp, but most of all they would like you to think, feel and believe you’re a wimp. Wimps have low self-esteem, are uncertain about their identity and their value as a person is distorted by ideas someone else planted in their heads or by the way a power/authority figure treated them.

We view public figures that are soft soften or smooth talking and say the “politically correct” things as humble, even when their widely publicized actions seem “for the people,” while down the line, a big payoff is coming and their methods are as shrewd as they come and downright evil. We remark how humble someone is in Hollywood when they win an “Oscar” and shed a few tears and give credit where credit is due and they speak very little about themselves, even when they slept their way to the top to get there. When persons of wealth and good fortune give money to feed the poor, help the homeless or contribute to a worthy cause we remark about how much of a true humanitarian they are and how generous they are, when many times it is for a tax break and it’s just really good public relations and further expansion of their own financial kingdom.

First of all, humility doesn’t mean others are better than you and you are “less than” others. God is no respecter of persons. We are all made in the image of God. Whether we choose to accept that image and allow it to be a gift to ourselves and others remains a matter of free will.

Secondly, true humility isn’t an oppressive burden that one must bear. Humility is a gift from God to share with others. It frees one from pride and arrogance. True humility speaks for itself, because a person is confident in God’s strength to give it and confident in their God given identity, no matter what the outcome, and their value as a person isn’t diminished whether their humility is accepted or rejected. Some people reject another’s humility, because it becomes a vehicle of conviction, where they lack character themselves and it reminds them of how they fail others at times. Remember now…humility is a GIFT!


Thirdly, humility is really about the heart. I’ve always found that truly humble people seek to have clean hearts, pure hearts, and honest hearts, caring and giving hearts and they have a heart for God and others. They seem to have certain “glow” about them that others don’t. Humble people seem to have a heart that’s always moving in the right direction no matter what the circumstances or outcome of their situations. Quite simply…humble people want to do the “right” thing for the “right” reason. That’s the true reward.

Fourthly, humility is power. Most of the world sees humility as a sign of weakness. “Never let ‘em see you sweat. Don’t let them know you’re hurting. Never shed a tear in public. Suck it up. Don’t play the ace until you have to. Don’t talk about it in public. Don’t them this and don’t tell them that. No one needs to know. If they see how you really feel, you’ll be taken advantage of. Play it cool.” All of these statements and many others I’ve heard through the years are fear based, not faith based or power based. Sadly though, the world continues to play the game of greed, arrogance, power, control, manipulation, exploitation, seduction, perversion and conning with nothing more than a motivation of selfishness. True humility is the power to be unselfish because it’s right….not because it makes one feel better.

I Peter 5:5 states that we should “Clothe yourselves with humility toward one another, because God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.” Imagine that! All of your value, all of your power and all of your hope are yours because of humility. But, the humility is based on God’s definition, not ours.

Being comfortable in your own skin is about certainty of your true identity which is found in Christ. When you like you and love you, it is possible to love your neighbor as yourself, because you have chosen to love you based on what God thinks and says about you, not what you or others think, feel and believe about you. Philippians 2:3 states “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves.” That does not mean that you judge others or judge yourselves. It’s really about caring, sharing, giving, serving, honor and respect with a positive view of yourself as well as others. You are not diminished, nor do you classify yourself as a second-rate citizen or some sort of “untouchable,” “not good enough” kind of person. Those thoughts are merely deception that leads to disappointment, discouragement and even worse states of mind and heart.

Jesus spoke of himself in Matthew 11:29 as being “gentle and humble in heart.” Jesus was not a weak man. He changed the course of human history forever. But remember this: “Who being in the very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be grasped but made himself nothing, taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness. And being found in appearance as a man, he humbled himself and became obedient to death-even death on cross. (Philippians 2:5-8)

Finally, some points to remember: 1-Humility, submission and obedience, executed with the faith of God, releases His favor and blessings upon you; 2-Humility is action, not a feeling; 3-Humility can defuse arguments and you don’t have to win every argument; 4-Handling unfair treatment peacefully is possible when humble; you do not have to be overcome by bitterness. The need for vengeance and revenge begins to fade more and more when humility prevails; 5-You don’t have to put on a false identity and fearfully disguise yourself when you are humble; you don’t have to prove a thing; 6-True humility won’t crush you. We can all learn from the constructive criticism of others; 7- Humility liberates you to ask for forgiveness and be reconciled with others. (Matthew 5:23-24); 8- Humility helps you to have the right attitude; 9-Humility doesn’t mean you are a wimp; it demonstrates strength and character; 10-Humility isn’t being unaware of your gifts and talents (Ephesians 3:8); 11-Bible based humility doesn’t mean never speaking directly although we examine our motives, attitudes and actions.


The results from understanding the truth about humility are more successful than taking a fearful, distorted, arrogant approach. When humble, you are likely to have more influence than if you are not. Even if the results aren’t what you think they should be or what they could be, you have done the right thing for the right reason if God is with you. You become victorious even if you don’t win with man, you will always win with God. Your thinking will remain sound; you will not become powerless, your emotions will be able to function and be experienced as God intends and your heart will remain pure. And…when you lay your head down at night you can truly say, “I’m right with God, right with myself and others and it is well with my soul.”

David Hammock. Copyright © 2009. All Rights Reserved.