As a minister, past social worker and professional counselor with twenty years of over 12,000 logged hours, I spent a lot of passionate time learning about how to help people. To this day I enjoy doing my part to help others, for it is my life’s call. When I hear other people, some wearing the title “expert,” talk about what others need, and want and how bad things are for hurting people, because of various reasons that the expert has researched and reported, in order for solutions, strategies and plans to be developed and executed to help make the pain of others better, I often wonder? Do they really have a clue? Sometimes I want a barf bag, because this guy, who thinks he knows so much, doesn’t really know people. He’s an administrator that couldn’t snip the end of a bag of bird seed off and fill up the feeder if he didn’t have an instruction guide. “Don’t be harsh now,” some would say. It is the thought and intentions that count.
We make these assumptions observing body language, reading between the lines, noting one’s demeanor, tone of voice, hygiene, words and habits that, “Oh…I know just what to say” or, “I know just how they feel,” or “I know just what they need,” without the heart ever truly asking: “How are you?” “Is everything alright?” Or, “How can I help you?” Even then…sometimes hurting people don’t know where to begin; they don’t believe you’ll be there for them because they’ve been down that road before and people they should have been able to count on let them down or, they wonder…”Why should I trust you?” And maybe a dozen or so more questions might be on their heart too like, “What gives you the right to walk into my world assuming that you’ve got what it takes…that you’ve got solutions….you don’t walk in my shoes, so who do you think you are?” Obviously… the anger that has come to the surface is speaking. Reason is not. But then….when did pain ever “feel” reasonable? That question I’d like to have the answer to.
Sometimes the best way to help is to just be still, wait and be patient. Once the hurting one knows you’re there, then…just “be there.” Being present comes long after awareness, availability and accessibility. A response cannot occur that will touch the life of another person until you’ve proven by what you do, not by what you say that you “understand.” Acceptance and understanding are just baby steps in the helping process, no matter what our particular career field or station in life. Will you be there for me through thick and thin? Will you be there when I mess up really bad? Will you be there when I do something really stupid? Will you be there when I have nowhere to turn? Will you be there when I’ve lost it all? Will you be there when I’m at the end of my rope and have no clue as to what's the right thing to do? That’s the kind of person I want in my corner. Most of us never do, even amongst our family, friends, co-workers, circles we travel in, professionals and those in the fields of helping others, including ministers.
If you’re going to call yourself a helping person, a religious person, a Christian person, a person of faith, a caring person, a giving person, an unselfish person....you’ve got to start with the basics. If you can’t do that....then just walk away and put your 75% off, humanitarian aid card back in your pocket. Use it with someone who doesn’t know the difference between cheap and genuine. But…even street-wise people know what it means to be human, even if they’re not treated that way by the masses, or they treat others that way.
What am I trying to say here? True caring takes time, effort, and commitment. Desire, motivation and willingness to pay the sacrificial price is what loving your neighbor as thyself really means. People don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care, I hear often and always know just how true it really is. In the story of the Good Samaritan in the Bible, the Good Samaritan went “out of his way” to do the right thing, at the right time, for the right purpose at his own expense. I almost never see that today. Never! Everyone wants to know “What’s in it for me?” or, “What’s it going to cost me?” when it comes to even helping someone with a coat, a toy, a meal or a new pair of shoes. Helping someone is not written into a personal planner with an indication that on a certain day of the week it will be “convenient.” Helping someone is a natural imperative of the heart, that calls for compelling action NOW....not later. Thank God, we don’t have to fill out an application or have a background check with Heaven, before God will redeem man and liberate him to be fully human and fully alive.
So… next time you want to help someone, take a moment and think about it. Is this where your heart is truly at? Is this what God is directing you to do? Is this what you want to do to feel good about you? What's your real motive?
Or, is this the right thing that must be done and you’ve just gotten the 911 call from God? The steps of a righteous man are ordered of the Lord and He’ll supply all of your needs. Just step up to the plate and be humble, submissive and obedient, accepting the sufficiency of God’s grace, walking by faith which only works by love. Just do it! It doesn't take an expert to care...you just have to be willing!
David Hammock. Copyright© 2009. All Rights Reserved.
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